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Don’t Beat Yourself Up When You Lose Focus
Because you will lose focus from time to time.
Even the most dedicated, target-locked creative loses focus sometimes.
There are a vast number of reasons for this. The first is obligations. We all have homes to maintain, relationships to spend time with, emails to answer, and so on. Everyone who is a functioning adult in our society has things they must do because they’re a part of everyday life.
The second is avoidable distractions that still find you. Games, social media, news, politics, and the like. Things that happen in life around you that you give a degree of attention to, but might inadvertently take more than you would desire to give.
The third reason you lose focus is various and sundry distractions. I went to grab lunch, noticed the litter boxes needed to be cleaned, then realized the mat one of them sits on was really stinky. I found myself dragging it outside to hose it down, wiping away a certain bad cat’s pee, mopping the floor, and then telling the cat I am displeased with him.
This planned ten to twenty-minute lunch turned into an hour of things that stole my focus away from my work. That was not the plan, and my focus was lost.
So, shit happens. You lose focus for good, bad, and utterly neutral reasons. When this happens – and it always will happen – you need to not beat yourself up over it.
Blame, shame, and guilt
It’s really, really, really easy to blame myself for getting distracted. When you lose focus, you can feel shame because of the many, many messages expounding the importance of focus for life, the universe, and everything.
As if that wasn’t enough to frustrate you, factor in guilt. If, like me, you do creative work full-time, when you fail at it or get distracted and lose focus, you can feel guilty about it. When you believe you’re supposed to be on target and focused all the time, when you lose focus, you can easily feel guilty about that.
This is, of course, utterly counterproductive. Unfortunately, it’s also human nature.
If you allow your subconscious mind and the various brain weasels/squirrels in the brain to tell you all the ways that you are unworthy, undeserving, and bad, you’ll begin to believe them. When that happens after you lose focus, you might beat yourself up.
That helps nobody in any way, least of all you.
Don’t beat yourself up when you lose focus
My harshest, meanest, biggest critic is me. Nobody holds me to the same standard that I do. Ergo, when I screw up, lose focus, and don’t get nearly as much done as I feel that I should, I tend to beat myself up.
This is not just figurative; it can be literal. When you feel guilt, shame, and blame yourself for losing focus, beating yourself up and punishing yourself in various ways is not so uncommon as you might think.
Physically, you might skip taking a walk, stretching, and doing any other exercise to punish yourself. Especially if you see lack due to lost focus, and then bargain from a need to take away one to punish for the other.
Another way I’ve physically beaten myself up was when I turned to food for comfort. I overate, or snacked when I wasn’t truly hungry, or chose unhealthy options to beat myself up because I managed to lose focus.
Mentally, chewing on all sorts of “what if?” scenarios regarding time management, too little or too much structure, and other thoughts will negatively impact your mental health and beat you up.
Emotionally, feeling bad, guilty, shamed, and blaming yourself can start you on a downward spiral. You beat yourself up and abuse your emotional health, wellness, and wellbeing to punish yourself over lost focus.
Spiritually, you might question if you are on the right path, if doing creative work is truly how you should use your time, and that leads you to potentially question your overall purpose in life. Your spiritual health, wellness, and wellbeing get beaten up.
Beating yourself up when you lose focus doesn’t regain it. To regain your focus, you must apply mindfulness.
Mindfulness to recover after you lose focus
Recognize and acknowledge that you lost focus. Don’t analyze the why, the how, or any other related factor. These are just rabbit holes to go down as part of beating yourself up. Just recognize and acknowledge that you lost your focus.
That done, pause. Don’t look back and question how you managed to lose focus. Likewise, don’t look forward and beat yourself up for perceived lost productivity. Instead, be present, here and now, and consciously aware.
Take a deep breath. Ask yourself,
- What am I thinking?
- What am I feeling?
- How am I feeling?
- What are my intentions?
- Is my approach positive or negative?
- What am I doing?
These questions can only be answered here and now. That makes you mindful. From mindfulness, you can recognize and acknowledge the lost focus, then move on from it.
Beating yourself up when you lose focus doesn’t bring it back. When lost, it’s gone. All you can do is recognize that you lost focus, acknowledge your recognition of that, then be present, mindful, and focus anew.
When focus is lost, it can’t be regained. Don’t beat yourself up because that is just another distraction. Let it go, be present and mindful here and now, and find your focus anew. That’s all anyone can do, whether a professional creative or anything else.
Thanks for reading. As I share my creative journey with you every week, please consider this: How are you inspired and empowered to be your own authentic creator, whatever form that takes?
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