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I Think Being Normal is Overrated
Who defines what normal is, anyhow?
All my life, I’ve been weird. Odd. Unusual. As a kid, I was a huge nerd. I loved all things sci-fi, preferred playing alone with my Star Wars action figures, or on my swing set having make-believe space adventures, and didn’t enjoy sports. I sucked at most of them anyhow. As I got older, I also fell in love with fantasy like swords and sorcery, too.
I loved riding my bike, enjoyed looking at the stars, and loved to read. In many, many ways, I wasn’t normal.
This was only part of how I wasn’t a normal kid. This was the early 1980s, and my parents decided to beat the rush and got divorced before it was popular to do so. We were the strange single-parent Jewish family in a predominantly Lutheran suburb. My dad moved halfway across the country, so I only saw him a few times a year.
Moving into adulthood, I tried in many ways to be more normal. I went to college but chose an artsy path. After college, when I entered the job market, I did my best to fit into some 9-5 office worker model or other. This proved challenging for me on a lot of different levels because I am a terrible corporate drone.
You know how some bosses pay lip service to the idea of open dialogue and tell you they want to hear from you when you have ideas? I thought they were serious, and more than once got myself in trouble for pointing out inconsistencies, inefficiencies, and other things that would make everyone’s life easier.
So, the long and short of this is, I suck at trying to be normal. It took me a long time to stop trying to be normal.
This found other expressions
From my teens to my mid-thirties, I tried to date normally, monogamously. This led me to go from one relationship to the next, to a non-relationship-friend-with-benefits, to a differently wobbly relationship, to the next, and so on. I think I never dated the same person for more than a couple of years and cheated on more than one lover.
Then I discovered polyamory. Oh, wait, that made a lot more sense to me. Normal? Nope. But when I stopped trying to fit myself into the norms of monogamous dating, I developed more fulfilling relationships and even got married. Crazy. Not normal. Shocker.
Eventually, I started to look for work that was less 9-5 corporate America. I had some success in retail, except when it ran into a manager hell-bent on changing schedules for no good reason and bosses who, though awesome, put a cap on my potential and advancement.
Finally, the opportunity to write more presented itself. Coupled with part-time work, I found balance and even contentment in my working situation.
Nothing about this, or about my life, has ever been normal. Besides, I think normal is highly overrated.
What’s normal anyhow?
Who defines what normal is? The pundits, the government, the churches and temples, Karl Marx? Ultimately, who is it that gets to choose what normal should look like? Also, what makes normal so great anyhow?
In my experience, normal is kind of boring. Also, if everyone liked the same things, applied the same standards and practices, how dull and colorless would that be? The world is a place of wondrous variety, and that often originates from those who buck what others call normal.
Yup, I’m talking about authors, artists, and other creatives. The people who come up with colorful and original expressions, new ideas, different approaches, and the like. People who work in the arts professionally or as a hobby usually aren’t normal.
I’ve never thought in the same way other people do. It’s been known to me for a long time now that how I view life, the universe, and everything is unique to me. But that is actually far more normal than not. No two people have the same perspective on anything. As Einstein said about the perception of reality,
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
To me, that means that every single one of us, all 8 billion people on Planet Earth, has our own, unique, individual perception and illusion of reality.
To understand one another, however, there needs to be some consistencies. The difference between dirt and water, fire and ice, up and down, and so on, we all largely agree with. And this is perfectly fine until you start to apply the idea of normal to it.
That’s because normal is a judgment call.
My normal is your effed up and vice versa
The trouble with the idea of normal is that it is judgmental. It’s how a group of people agree something is, and then it gets labeled as normal. Then, normal often shifts to “right.” From there, it all falls apart.
Once someone declares something as normal, and a group of people accept it, they often see all else as not normal, abnormal, and ultimately wrong. Then you end up with conflict. Conflict can turn violent, and the next thing you know you’re watching your democracy crumble.
As I’ve written in my other blogs, consciousness creates reality. If, like me, you’re not normal, you have a choice. Try to fit your square-peg self into the round holes, pretend to be normal, or embrace your not normal.
When you embrace who you genuinely desire to be, you become empowered. Then you can more consciously, consistently, and easily do the things that light you up and expand your creativity. From there, you can have a positive impact on the world around you.
No, it’s not that simple. But since I believe that normal is overrated, embracing my inner abnormal has made me more balanced, centered, calm, and content in my life. It’s also given me more tools to do what I can to be of service to others. That’s part of why I’m sharing this with you now.
I think if more people in the world stopped applying the idea of normal to things, we’d all be a lot less cranky, contentious, and conflicted.
What do you think of the concept of normal?
Thanks for reading. As I share my creative journey with you every week, please consider this: How are you inspired and empowered to be your own authentic creator, whatever form that takes?
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