Am I Procrastinating, Distracted, or Just Challenged?

It feels as though I’m procrastinating. Am I? Or am I expecting too much of myself?

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This has been an ongoing issue for most of my adult life. It’s been especially problematic in my desire to establish a stable career and make real money along the way.

There are multiple reasons behind this, of course. Some are external, some internal. I spent my twenties and almost half of my thirties trying to decide what I desired to do with my life. Use my college degree and work in theatre? Get a job in radio? Get a teaching certificate and teach? Go back to school for another degree and do something else?

This would keep me bouncing from job to job. In part out of fears of both failure and success. It was in part because I was unwilling to uproot from my base and go potentially to the middle of nowhere for a career. I found myself procrastinating about taking certain actions that might move my life forward.

Then I realized, after much trial and error, that I am a writer. I had Seeker professionally edited. I finished and got Finder edited. After that, I started to work on writing even more. Now I have more than 12 finished books and more on the way!

Eventually journaling gave way to blogging, and in time it was a regular, weekly habit. Then a thrice-weekly habit. Now I’m both writing and editing daily. Editing tends to get done. But writing? Not so much of late.

Is the apparent lack of progress I see due to procrastinating, or expecting too much of myself? If the latter, why do I feel this way?

Procrastinating can become a habit

Are you procrastinating – or – do you feel that you are because your expectations of yourself are too high? Are they so high that when you don’t accomplish as much as you think you should, you question everything?

While some of my issues may be due to procrastinating, I recognize that it is far more realistic that the problems are from my expectations of myself. This is almost entirely on me. I believe that I can do this, that, or the other thing. Then, if I don’t, I get flustered.

At the same time, there are beliefs I have about what is expected of me. You and I live in a fear-based society too tightly focused on lack and scarcity. There are numerous expectations for us to contribute and get shit done.

When I feel that I am failing at this, I become concerned that I will be judged. Sometimes the comments from friends and loved ones offering helpful suggestions help feed this. However, a great deal of this is really about just how much I expect of myself. I’m very good about the deadlines I’ve imposed with blogging. This is now habitual. Building, creating, and changing habits are good for getting things done and going where you desire to go.

My work on changing other habits has not met the same levels of success. I frequently find distractions when I should be working.

Or am I? When should I be taking breaks from working? Let’s face it, everyone needs to take breaks along the way. So where is the line between expecting too much of myself, being challenged, distracted, or procrastinating?

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Lessening procrastinating

The key is, of course, to build up some new and better habits. This is easier said than done. Yet I’ve done it before, so of course I can do it again.

What does it take? Desire. I must make a choice and decide to create new habits.

Unsurprisingly, this means I will need to step out of my comfort zone(s). I will need to take actions, some of which are a bit uncomfortable, to get from here to there, wherever there is.

I’m working to do things for me to better my life. I desire to have more, to make more of my one-and-only time on this planet. I have so much to give and share, and I need to stop beating myself up when I do not live up to my own expectations.

Does my desire to change outweigh my desire to be comfortable where I am? I believe so.

Procrastination vs distracted vs challenged

How can I tell the difference between procrastinating, distracted, and challenged? When I’m actively consciously aware and being mindful. Then I can look closer at what I’m thinking, what and how I’m feeling, my intentions, and my actions.

Procrastination is finding reasons and excuses to not do the work I must do. This tends to be ongoing, and more than one thing crops up to steal away my attention.

Distractions are my phone buzzing when I get a message. An email I pause what I’m doing to read. My cat jumping on my desk and walking around seeking attention. Individual things that grab my attention quickly and seemingly out of the blue. They tend to come and go fast.

Challenges are the point of doing the work to where I get stuck. Why is the character in this chapter not moving? How is it that what I plotted has met a roadblock? This might require taking a step away.

Whatever the case might be, it’s important to recognize this last thing: Everyone needs a break. The relentlessness of the busy culture of the world is not healthy. You need to step away and allow yourself to reset, recharge, and so on.

That’s why, as you’re reading these words, I’m at a big campsite with about 10,000 other people, dressed in medieval garb and playing with swords. This is the vacation I take annually because I know that I need to take a break from time to time. That’s both healthy and necessary as much for you as it is for me.

Thanks for reading. As I share my creative journey with you, I conclude with this: How are you inspired to be your own creator – whatever form that takes?

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